You know there are some instances in life when you wish you hadn’t witnessed what you just did – situations you suddenly realize you want to run very VERY far away from. Today, I was in one of those :S
And believe you me; there are very few situations that leave me speechless. I mean, I am more than just a talkative person – to the extent that I’ve been suggested by many to take up radio-jockeying and the likes! But you know what struck me like lightening today? When I realized that even Bugs didn’t know what to say – Yeah, that voice in my head! Now THAT, my friends, is a serious issue!
So, now that the intro is done, I’ll come to the main body. Now for some of you (perverts!), your minds might already be reeling towards that three lettered taboo word: S-E-X. Vaise, isn’t it human tendency? That everything we’re told not to do or say, we like doing that, if nothing else, just for the kick of it! And however ‘forward’ our country might have become, sex is one thing that’ll always be looked upon with eyes falling out of their sockets and the vocal cords going mute!
Don’t agree with me? Try this: While taking a stroll in the park with a friend or talking on the phone, just have a conversation about ‘How supremely exciting your last night was’ and just see the expression on that fat little aunty sitting nearby eating bhutta! If not in front of you, or her kitty party ‘gals’ she’s sure to go back and duly report to her dear little hubby, “Yeh aaj kal ke bachcheee! Minti ki ladki kohi dekh lo, kaisi kaisi baatien kar rahi thi neechey!” hahaha!
Anyway, coming back to the point, I’m not one of those shy girls who’d turn red at the mention of you-know-what. I’m pretty free to talk to, or so I thought until a few days ago!
So, a long lost acquaintance pinged me on facebook out of the blue (you know how it always is – screw those four hundred friends on our lists!) and mentioned about her engagement, upon hearing which, (or rather reading which) I was genuinely very happy for her. But nowcomes the tricky part.
XYZ(*Name protected for privacy reasons*): Have you done oral?
BOINGGGGG!!!! It felt like a baseball bat just hit me!
Okay, I’ve always had these e-world versus the personal touch issues. (No, not that personal touch! :\)
But seriously, everything has become so tech-savvy these days that you’d rather log on to facebook and post something on a friend’s wall rather and pick up the phone and call her. More than half the times, you take things all wrong because ‘unluckily’ you don’t know what the other person means by “okay, I gotta go!” It could mean anything from ‘I really do need to go’ to ‘you’re so irritating, I can’t bear you for a second longer’!
But now? Oh no no no no! This very instant, I am thanking the lord for having made this ‘curtain’ of sorts because I have NO words!
Eeewww! What a thing to ask! Does she really want to know that? As I was thinking of an appropriate response (Yes, sometimes the easiest YES/NO questions can be very tricky!) my sister enquires why I have been staring at the computer screen with my jaw dropped! I look at her and her belief that I have, indeed, lost it has been confirmed! I look back at the screen and whoop! I have officially been bombarded with questions as if I’m a ‘personal guide’ on kamasutra.com or some such parallel world of fantasy. I don’t remember exactly how I got away from that conversation.
But, how was I to know that the icing on the cake is going to happen today! So, this person pings me again:
XYZ: I had oral ;D
Now I’m speechless so all that comes out is a ‘great’.
XYZ: You can ask me anything if you want ;)
NOW, I want to run far far away.
But alas! I just fainted! :-\