My True Best Friend..

So, I’ve been thinking. As usual..

Generally, on one of my ‘low’ days, when I don’t feel like talking to anyone, all I want to do is blame everyone for whatever’s not going right. So, I had a few expectations, which according to me weren’t too demanding, but, yeah, it doesn’t really seem like they’re going to be met with. So, I’m cranky and irritable and feel like screaming.

A friend says, I have never seen you like this! Come on, be your normal self again! I say, everyday can’t be rosy and merry and funny na! And since it can’t, and if she is a true friend, she can for once, take the brunt and get a feeler of my ‘other’ side. And she does. She hears me rant, be sarcastic and rude for twenty minutes, with a few ‘trying-to-explain-its-not-like-that’ statements here and there. It does help, a little.

But then, back to square one. The anger and irritation set in again. And Oh yes! I’m pissed off. So I open up a word document and start typing. Now how does THAT help? Well, for one, it is just a white piece of blank-ness. So essentially, it is very inviting. Secondly, it just stands there waiting for me to pour out everything I can’t tell someone – everything they won’t understand. The good part about this medium is that it doesn’t HAVE to understand. It just has to listen – patiently. And that is does. So I write. And it soothes me. It calms me. And I can feel the anger slipping away.

Now, I don’t know if I am what you call a ‘good’ writer. I don’t know if I even make sense half the time and I’m not sure if people relate to what I pen down. I also don’t know if they’re even interested in what I have to offer. But one thing I do know is that, it heals me. It gives me what no friend can give me. It gives me the ability to find a solution within myself.

This pen and paper – is my true best friend.