The day even Shania Twain didn't help..

The music was playing, but she wasn’t listening. That didn’t happen too often, in fact it had never happened before. Music had always been a major part of her life. She seemed to connect with it in every mood. She always somehow discovered that one song that she felt was just meant for her.
Another reason that probably strengthened this affair with music was that she had always been a hopeless romantic. She still couldn’t figure out whether that was a good thing or not. But today, even Shania Twain couldn’t calm her senses.

It was seven years ago - sometimes it felt like another life, sometimes like it happened just yesterday. He had been pursuing her for over two years before she relented. She had never been in a relationship earlier, and her naïve innocent mind was too scared and insecure to have said yes any sooner. She was just overwhelmed at the fact that someone could do so much for her, give her so much, love her so much. She thought she loved him too. Maybe she did – for a while. Five years later, having gone through many many changes, some together, some separately – they were standing looking at each other with hurt, anger and frustration.

He had always loved her, it was more like obsession. But, she was more of the practical sort. Her future had always worried her. Especially with him. Now she felt, he was had always been like a child, not taking the important things seriously enough.

Even today she remembers that day clearly, when she first said it to herself – “This can’t go on. I need to break up with him”. She again went into that contemplating mode - weighing her options. And with every passing moment, her belief became stronger, her goal clearer. Whatever it was, wherever she was meant to be, it wasn’t with him. She had started feeling claustrophobic. She NEEDED to do this - for her own well being.

And she did. She had known it will be tough, but this tough – she hadn't the slightest clue. Suddenly, the entire world saw her as mean and selfish - even her closest friends. She felt a huge sense of guilt, trying to convince those who were once hers – that this wasn’t fully her fault. That she HAD to do this. Amidst all the fun and frolic she felt alone, betrayed by her own.

She missed him sometimes. Actually, she missed the feeling of being with someone rather than anything else. She felt a little less burdened for sure now. Under all that mess, she felt free – to do what she wanted, the way she wanted to.

That was seven long years ago - sometimes it felt like another life, sometimes like it happened just yesterday…