So are you Punjabi ? Or Maharashtrian? Or Tamil?

Okay, so I am on Twitter.. And I follow iamsrk. Yes, since I'm a die-hard fan, I ought to be doing that! So, He's retweeted this one post which says "SRK chandigarh loves you big shout out !! Pls tweet or retweet if you love your north india fans x"

Now I'm thinking, what the HELL is wrong with people in India. I mean, agreed that Chandigarh is in North India, but why make it such an issue? I never knew Geography (that I always failed in) would play such a crucial role in some peoples' lives. Maybe the fact that I always failed actually keeps me from understanding this aspect! And I don;t regret it one bit!

So, this tweet got me thinking about all the reality shows hogging Telly-space these days and how they divide even something as pure as talent into Punjab, Gujarat and Bengal! 

"Agar aapko So-and-So ki performance pasand aayi ho toh Gujarati fans vote karien 57575 par" or after reaching the next round the contestant will say "Main poore Maharashtra ko Thank you bolna chahunga..."

Like really? Are WE the educated class of India? The future of this country who everyone has such high hopes from? Why do we ALWAYS have to get these divides in the midst of everything? 

I recently saw this new Ad of Incredible India on TV. And I loved it. All through our school lives we've been taught 'Diversity in India'

We are a mix of so many cultures! You visit any city, any state and you experience new things, different attire, a different language, different food. But, isn't that supposed to BIND US together? 

Then isn't this practice of introducing ourselves as "Hi,I'm Tanya and I'm from Punjab/Delhi/Gujarat" totally irrelevant? I mean, it really boils down to State-favoritism. Its okay to love a certain place, like, my mum adores Mumbai and I love Jaipur, but that's that man! We don't convert it to Anti-Mumbai or Anti-Jaipurmorchas!

For goodness sake, can't we just be mature for once and take it as another person's point of view rather than making it a political issue? I saw Peepli Live yesterday (Yes, I saw it NOW! - So late) and the CM says "Aap dekhiye Bengal mein kya ho raha hai, Gujarat mein kya ho raha hai, yahaan wahaan kya ho raha hai!"

Isn't that just an escape route from our responsibilities? Or do the citizens of this country really have nothing else to do so they just like to indulge in divide and rule?

Why do we have to stress on our 'State-ality' at all?!? Why can't we just be Indian?  

Or better still - why the Indian / Pakistani / Arab / English divide either?

Can't we just be HUMAN..?

His Guiding Light :)

I sit in my car and the music plays

It gives me hope and a dream to chase..

Just for one moment, I close my eyes,

I breathe a deep breath and just feel life..

I think of each person who is a part of me

People who keep me grounded, my friends and family.

Yes, I’ve made my mistakes, some big some small,

And there have been times when I’ve a had a fall..

I have been wounded and I have been hurt

But with time, it healed and I rose from the dirt..

There are still some that make my eyes wet,

But I will overcome them too; I am determined – all set.

A hundred reasons to be angry and upset I could find,

But I’ll just thank the lord for what I’ve got and follow his guiding light.

Tu na jaane aas paas hai khuda.. Amen :)

Your thoughts linger...

I sit still as a tornado passes through me..

Even the soft music in the background doesn’t set me free..

It has happened pretty much every day since that night

When you asked me that one question, if I’d read what you write..

How was I to know what it’ll do to me, how was I to know it’ll all lead to this..

That even in this pain, there’ll be a certain bliss..

This feeling I feel today, if you could just know..

I can see you in the rains, and the wind that caresses my face.

I can see you in the green grass, the flowers and the sun’s rays..

You look so perfect, so serene

Still untouched by the world, so pure, so clean..

Only if you could see you.. through my eyes..

You make me feel like a bird gliding through the skies..

I throw a stone in the lake and the ripples tease me

What causes such restlessness they enquire

How do I tell them, it’s you causing the chaos, the fire..

It’s you who’s giving me those goosebumps

It’s your name that sends the shivers down my spine..

And on the outside I must portray that everything’s fine..

It’s your eyes I want to keep looking into forever..

It’s your smile I want to see and not let it fade ever..

You’re the reason I can’t sleep at night..

You’re the one who’s one message makes my day bright..

You’re the one I dream off every single moment

Oh! I’m sure you’re the one, a hundred percent..

My day becomes better just thinking of you,

How I wish to God that all your dreams come true..

As soon as I think I have a moment’s peace

Your face pops in front of me like the refreshing morning breeze

I am intrigued every time I see the world through your eyes..

The things you show me, there’s no space for pretence or lies..

Your words are like a sweet symphony to my ears

Before I know it, loosing you is one of biggest fears..

Your thoughts linger on for just a moment longer..

And that’s when the feeling about us gets even stronger..

Too Many Sunsets..

I watched the waves crashing into the sand

As if desperately searching for an answer grand..

'Sat there often - the wind on my face,

trying to figure out what it is I'm trying to chase..

Seen too many sunsets, and many-a-moonrise

Wondering whether God really does make these ties..

"Will he ever feel for me?" I asked Him today,

And pat came His reply, "If heaven has its way"

I felt him take my hand, his fingers slid through mine,

And that moment I just knew.. that it'll all be fine..

Daddy Woes? Naaah..Daddy Wows! :D

1. The day your dad sits next to you while you drive and doesn’t say ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING???’ – That day you and he both will have the realization that your driving has improved.

2. The day your dad specially calls you to his cabin during lunch just to tell you that he’s impressed by the jalaa hua rotis you’ve made, the grin on his red face will make your day :P

3. The day your dad gets up and goes to the kitchen to ‘whip up’ something for himself, he is VERY hungry! ;)

4. The day he says, ’let me do it’, he’s either feeling guilty that he doesn’t help around the house too much, or is too in love with you!

5. The day your dad DOESN’T have the TV on while doing other things simultaneously, please touch his forehead and see if everything is okay..

6. When he wants something to eat or drink, he’ll always have an indirect way of telling you – something like, “Bhelpuri khaoge?”

7. If he actually comes up to you, rather than calling you to him, (for anything) you have reason enough to be scared.

8. The day he starts finding small things like the nail cutter, the remote, the house keys himself rather than asking you to do it, either he’s very pissed with you or he thinks you’re not home.

9. The day he actually ‘makes a conversation’ with the maid, please take it that he’s ‘contributing’ to the house :P

10. The day he asks the kids to “get their homework to him”, he’s definitely got a jhaad from his wife for NEVER EVER bothering with anything except his work and cricket.

11. The only time he will actually ‘enter’ your room to wake you up is when and if he’s crossing your room. Otherwise, you can keep hearing the wake up calls from his room (whenever he does remember that you’re still sleeping) and you can keep replying with ‘Hmmm..’.

12. On a holiday, if the TV isn’t on when your dad is home, be rest assured that he’s sleeping.

13. The day he initiates a conversation about your marriage, either he’s very worried, or he’s very worried. Either way, please run away…as far as you can..

;)

The 4AM Thoughts...

I was sleeping like a log when I woke up with a start,

Felt like a drum beating, Oh! It was just my heart.

I wondered why it happened these days,

Love I tell you.. has its own ways..

You can’t hide it, you can’t lie,

It’ll show somehow or the other, as much as you try..

I lay awake in bed, thinking about you,

What you had done to me, I had no clue!

It was 4am when yet again I realized

That you to me, are the most prized..

Expectations..are a mean mean thing!

I’ve been thinking..yet again! :/ yes!

So, why do we expect? I know there are lots of you who would say, I don’t have any expectations. I have stopped expecting. But isn’t that just a by-product of being hurt? All of us have been hurt and with time, we like to ‘believe’ that we have learnt our lessons. The truth really is, that we are just a little less fun, a little more serious, and in pseudo terminology we like to call it ‘experience’.

I, and here I don’t talk only for myself – there are more out there, have been hurt many-a-times. I guess we are our own enemies. We want the entire world, all of it – the perfect career, the perfect soul mate, the perfect life, and we dream and dream and dream some more about it.  Don’t we know it is never going to happen? Don’t we know it is all just a farce?

Every new chapter in life starts with an old one closing. And though we say it is ‘closed’, is it really? Again, I talk for myself, and a few of those I know – we make constant comparisons between the ‘was’ and the ‘is’. We surround ourselves by new ‘What-ifs’ every single day. We fight with our hearts and minds all the bloody time! And we say we’ve moved on? Doesn’t moving on mean learning from your mistakes? Then why, oh why do we repeat them again and again? And I’m not talking about how much better ‘this’ guy is from the earlier one. I’m talking about the hurt. The hurt, the pain we give ourselves – intentionally.

All because of these idiotic expectations. Whether we like it or not, whether we want it or not – we do expect. All the time. And what do we get out of that? Just another session of ‘self-realization’ and a lesson learnt, or sometimes not!

Over and over and over again we have mastered the art of hurting ourselves. It’s like finding sadistic pleasure! Be it a mom telling the kids again and again to ‘sudhro’ or our dumb hearts going bonkers over people so unattainable, its not even funny!

I don’t know, I am just blurting out pretty much what I’m thinking. This isn’t a well-scripted thing, or a carefully thought-out one. But I’m just irritated. With myself, and with the director of this play called ‘My Life’. I don’t WANT to be ‘experienced’. I don’t WANT any ‘self-realization’. I don’t WANT these lessons to be learnt. I don’t WANT all this constant juggling of my heart.

I’m just a normal girl, and I just want a normal life..

Is that too much to ask for…?

The Dark Sky..

I look through my window and see you standing there.

With a calm expression on your face, at the full moon you stare.

I look at you, and then the dark sky,

We aren’t together, even the stars are wondering why..

What do I tell them and the wind that whispers to me,

I feel so captivated and yet strangely so free..

I close my eyes and take a deep breath; I don’t know what to say

Oh Please, like the rest, hope you don’t walk away..

I look strong from outside, always in control,

But, on the inside, there’s nothing but a tender loving soul.

I hope to God that one day, you look this side,

Because I promise you I’ll be standing there, with my arms open wide..

I don’t know where you’ve come from; I don’t know where you want to go,

But, at least return my heart to me, that you’ve taken along the road..

Being Woman...

Sometimes I wonder why this society is the way it is..

I know every society, every country has its goods and bads, positives and negatives; and that is perfectly okay. Evolution is a slow process and I understand that. But there are a few specific things that I personally have an issue with – especially in the Indian scenario.

One thing I just cannot stand, and you could call me whatever you want for that, is gender inequality. In school, I hated this subject – Anything about it. I never understood it and I never bothered to. But now when I come to think of it, I feel so passionately about it, it’s not even funny.

It is sad when I think that these issues are an eminent part of our very own families. And even if I talk just for myself, I would have to admit that even in my own extended family there are a few people who still prefer the male child over the female. And I hate that. It’s not because I am a woman. And it’s definitely not because I have something against the male population of this world. I don’t. What I have an issue with, is the thinking.

Why do people feel that daughters aren’t good enough? Why do they feel that they can’t be as good as the men? Why do they feel that women won’t be supportive towards the elderly after their marriages? And WHY do they feel that women are a BURDEN?

Maybe I am over-reacting. I come from a family background that is VERY open-minded. I have a younger sister and our parents, I know for a fact, are proud of having two daughters. And I respect them for that. That could be the reason for my feeling like this towards ‘the world’. I have never been taught that men are better in any way. I have NEVER been given this feeling that I am NOT capable of something. But I know people who have. And it hurts me. I hurts me to see them breaking and crumbling under the burden of being a woman. I see them trying desperately to cope with this ‘issue’ and I hate it.

Today, I stand here, proud that I was born a woman, and I ask you – What is the problem in being woman? Do we become lesser mortals just because we have the boon of producing life? What is it that women can’t do better than men? On one hand, we pray to Goddess Durga, Kali and the likes, and on the other hand, we don’t want baby girls in our families. What hypocrites we are!

And again I repeat this isn’t a man vs woman, Mars vs Venus fight. It’s just about the thinking..

It’s just about the thinking..

A Kodak Moment Day! Yes, the entire day! :)

Yeah, so you know me! On days like these toh I have to write only na. A few friends are totally expecting this. I mean, they asked me, "So, isn't Bugs going to write anything today?". Hmm. Yes I told them. But today, I think I'll do the writing myself :) Come on yaar! :) Today was my day na ;) Okay, so, frankly, over the past two weeks I was pretty disappointed at the way things were panning out for my birthday. Almost all of my friends had some or the other unavoidable plans. And yes, this time, I know I wasn't in for any surprises. Come 21st night, and ONE out of a mere 12 invitees actually came. Not that I am complaining! :P Even though the fool just slept off and only woke up after smelling the cake ;) But, I love her to death for making the effort :) Thank you Vani :D

But it was actually the 8.23am today morning when the real fun began. I always knew that this one girl would do ANYTHING for me. But its always overwhelming to see the belief become stronger. Today was doubly special for this one reason. And I know I can't say or do enough for her, and I can NEVER find words befitting enough for her, but what she did for me today, I don't think many people would! Coming from a 5am flight (which is her job by the way!) sleeping for not even 2 hours and rushing to make MY day special - insisting on baking a cake for me (in my kitchen ;)), taking a power nap till we organize the ingredients!, make the icing all alone while we go crazy singing idiotic bollywood songs, juggling between a jam packed photography session right in the middle of the kitchen and the heat - really ISN'T easy. 

And there's a lot more she did. But my basic point is, today like many days gone by, I stand reassured that this angel is one of MOST treasured gifts I have ever got! And I know this because even though we might not like a few things about each other, we breathe the same breath, we feel the same concern for each other and we would sacrifice ANYTHING for one smile on each other's faces. I don't know.. It took me ten minutes to write this one sentence! And that's only because it is just so bloody difficult to put in words what she means to me. And what she has done for me today. Rashi Joshi is a part of me that will never ever EVER fade. She is my life and I don't need to say that I will do absolutely ANYTHING to keep that smile on her face every single moment for ever and after that! 

Ipshita Kaul and Ekta Jain I don't know what would I have done without! They are pure gems! The way they say in those old classic hindi movies "Hira hai hira!". True that! For them! Today wouldn't have been as special without them! 

Uditi Agarwal has been in my life for just too long for me to say anything :) she is just awesome. And, I love her! (Duhh!) :* Hugs to you. For just being there. Period. 

And now, pretty much the grand finale, and the reason I am actually sitting up so late and writing this tonight, this one gorgeous girl, Ankita Kanwar, who rocked my heart 10 years ago! And has been doing so ever since! She is one person who has the ability to bring out the zillions of emotions present inside me, and she doesn't even know it yet. I know how she thinks, and I know that right this minute, she'd be thinking I've gone nuts and none of this is true. But she has had this problem for a long long time - underestimating herself! And she loves doing it! But, I'll tell you some truths about this idiot! She loves me, and just doesn't know how to say it. And you could ask me how can I be so sure, and I'll tell you that today, she called me, and I felt it in her voice. And I know I have gone wrong in relationships many-a-times, but this is one human being I was bang on about. She might say or do, or rather, not say and not do much, but the heart that beats inside her has a part of me. 

I remember a conversation we had almost 5 years ago, and I can't guarantee that she would recall it. But we were talking about sustaining relationships and she said, "Tanee, don't expect me to be there for ever." I never told her, but that night I was deeply hurt. Today, she sits more than a few hundred kilometers away from me and I know she was wrong. I know I can't see her everyday anymore, and can't hear her laughter so often, but I think i can feel that heart beating, and I think it misses me. Maybe even she doesn't know it yet, but she is going to be in my life even after I'm not. Yes its true. 

So tonight, I thank this lord above me, for making me who I am so that I could deserve such angels in my life. 

And, my eyes haven't been wetter in a long long time..

Pakode aur Chai :D

For as long as I can remember, the first thing any Indian would think of, when he/she hears the words ‘rains’ or ‘monsoons’ – is ‘Pakode aur Chai’. Yes, although in the recent times ‘Potholes’ have become pretty symbolic too, ‘Pakode and Chai’, like many other traditions in India, have been passed down from one generation to another. Come rains, and wives all over the place would be organizing these ‘pakvaans’. Family members of all age groups – the kids, the husbands and the grandparents would wait impatiently after having said “Pushpaaa/Maa/Bahuuu, iss mausam mein chai aur pakode hon toh mazaa hi aa jaaye”. And so, the poor lady of the house starts finding that godforsaken packet of besan and the chai ki patti.

And as usual, Bugs got thinking (Yeah! The same stupid voice in my head!) – not about the calories, but the fact that maybe this wasn’t really a done thing anymore. He asked me, when was the last time I had pakodas? And believe me, I just could NOT remember! It must have been at a party that had a chaat pakodi theme or something.  So I figured this was one of those times when you see trends changing. I think if it were pouring heavily today, people would probably prefer a chocolate brownie or waffles with maple syrup with a hot cappuccino rather than the good old Pakode and chai! And no, it isn’t about being health conscious! I don’t think the calories matter as much, since the latter is more definitely more fattening than the oil soaked pakode. But I guess over time, tastes have evolved.

Then again, if we’re talking desi versus firang - isn’t Neal Caffery hotter than John Abraham anyway? ;D

My True Best Friend..

So, I’ve been thinking. As usual..

Generally, on one of my ‘low’ days, when I don’t feel like talking to anyone, all I want to do is blame everyone for whatever’s not going right. So, I had a few expectations, which according to me weren’t too demanding, but, yeah, it doesn’t really seem like they’re going to be met with. So, I’m cranky and irritable and feel like screaming.

A friend says, I have never seen you like this! Come on, be your normal self again! I say, everyday can’t be rosy and merry and funny na! And since it can’t, and if she is a true friend, she can for once, take the brunt and get a feeler of my ‘other’ side. And she does. She hears me rant, be sarcastic and rude for twenty minutes, with a few ‘trying-to-explain-its-not-like-that’ statements here and there. It does help, a little.

But then, back to square one. The anger and irritation set in again. And Oh yes! I’m pissed off. So I open up a word document and start typing. Now how does THAT help? Well, for one, it is just a white piece of blank-ness. So essentially, it is very inviting. Secondly, it just stands there waiting for me to pour out everything I can’t tell someone – everything they won’t understand. The good part about this medium is that it doesn’t HAVE to understand. It just has to listen – patiently. And that is does. So I write. And it soothes me. It calms me. And I can feel the anger slipping away.

Now, I don’t know if I am what you call a ‘good’ writer. I don’t know if I even make sense half the time and I’m not sure if people relate to what I pen down. I also don’t know if they’re even interested in what I have to offer. But one thing I do know is that, it heals me. It gives me what no friend can give me. It gives me the ability to find a solution within myself.

This pen and paper – is my true best friend.

Pe Pe Pepein - The Much Awaited Wedding Bells :P

This world is a strange place. And in this strange place, everyone has his/her own quirks, - crazy thoughts, beliefs and rituals, weird ways of looking at things – sometimes very subtle, sometimes totally over the top! In this mad, sometimes fascinating, sometimes exasperating world, one thing that has ALWAYS intrigued me is the ‘Big Fat Indian Wedding’. You might call me nuts, and you might find this looney, but the more I attend Indian ‘functions’; the more my beliefs get strengthened. And, I’m glad to tell you that I’m not alone in this. My eternal soul mate, my humsafar – “Bugs” (The voice in my head) agrees with me a hundred percent on this! :P

Being fully aware of the fact that the ONE dream Indian girls have, I guess, since the day they are born, is their wedding day. The day they get to look THE prettiest. The day all eyes are on them. THEIR day!

At the risk of being killed by many after they read this, I’d like to report that this entire concept goes way over my head. Those who know me are sometimes in doubt about whether I am normal, trying to find SOME miniscule specs of feminism in me :P

Well, I won’t defend that. Not now. Now ever. Because I am good at being a tom boy ;) And I like it. It’s a simple life – all I need is a pair of denims, a t-shirt and sports shoes. I hate shopping more than arbi and ghiya and do NOT understand make up and accessories. See – it is easy!

So anyway, my heart sinks every time I am told that there is a “you-know-what” around the corner that I need to attend. I am not joking; I get more tensed than I was even before my Business Studies board exam. Then my life gets divided into two distinct phases – Pre-prep, and the event! Pheww!!

STAGE I : PRE-PREP

Mum (In hyperactive mode): You have NO clothes, what are you going to wear? You don’t have ANYTHING presentable! Blah blah blah! *Fully panic stricken*. What I hate in this whole thing – the SUITS! I JUST cannot handle suits!!! Those over flowing chunnis, the open hair, the works. Then the makeup I’m forced to do. Items I don’t even know the names of are put on my face to make me look PRESENTABLE! *Bugs is thoroughly annoyed even at the thought*!

So, somehow, the clothes are organized, some last minute shopping (yuck!) is done and gotten over with! So much tension, and the function hasn’t even BEGUN! :S

Now the more difficult part,

STAGE II : THE EVENT

In a constant process of mental preparation, Bugs reminds me that there are four functions on four consecutive WORKING days of the week, in some remote corner of the OTHER side of Delhi. :/

Okay, Day 1 : *meeting people you see once every year on a function just like this, and not even knowing what relation you have with them!* The easiest thing to do – “Namaste ji”. JI is my favorite word on days like this – age no bar, caste no bar, gender no bar! No tension. Everybody is ‘ji’. You don’t have to know HOW you know them. They might by your mom’s cousin’s masi’s grandson’s wife twice removed. But they are JI. Period.

Next, the more difficult thing to do : have a conversation.

One farfetched relative, the twice removed type: Arreeeyyyy betaaa, kitne bade ho gaye hooo?

Depending on what stage of life you are in its either “Boards kaise hue?? Result kaisa tha?” or “Kaunsa college mein admission mili?” or “Kahan naukri kar rahe ho?” or jus the good old “Haaaiiii, bachche kitne bade ho gaye naaa? Pichli baari yeh itni si thi, godi me aa jati thi!”

Bugs to himself : Ya, aunty JI! What did you expect, I’d still be 2 years old?? Hmph!

Somehow, sitting on a table somewhere in the ocean of people , listening to the ‘elders’ discussing ‘life’ in the past one year that they’ve not seen each other, day 1 ends.

And am I glad!

Day 2: Now things get tougher. Since ‘life’ has already been discussed on the previous day, your eyes croon for the snacks. Fake smiles on your faces, andar hi andar, you’re praying to God, “Hey bhagwaan, I’m famished. Bhej do kisiko!” And suddenly, your hopes brighten. The waiter comes to your table, and lowers his tray. You look at the lamb and want to slap him, “Nahi, Vegetarian bhejna!” In the mean time, the ‘elders’ are now discussing what each of them are wearing. (Isn’t that their favorite topic! *rolling eyes*) “Oh! Maine toh yeh saree Guddu ki maami se banvaayi thi!” (Like I’m dying to know :S)

Okay, THEN comes Day 3: Ab toh, limit! The ‘ghar-walas’ organize a performance. Hmph! So first the Sisters with dance, then the Bhabhis, the Devars, the works! Oh! How can one forget the parents and parents-in-law. And then the one senti song. Babul ghar jaana type. Arrrggghhh! And Bugs thinks – “OKAYYYY! Get me the food man!”

Day 4: Irritation rising. Fourth CONSECUTIVE night of dressing up. Another function, another suit. Hmph! (No! I’d faint if you even MENITIONED a saree to me!)

Door Door tak conversation karne ke liye nahi hai! Food is the same as the past three days, and now the mothers, aunties, chachis and mamis are discussing the clothes of the bride and groom! WHAT a change! Okay, so today is the wedding day. The Groom’s side is going berserk dancing and the hotel staff really can’t do anything about the noise levels.  So, Bride and Groom sit there, stuffed till the neck with all the motichur laddoos of the past one week. They are sick of smiling and Namaste-ing and taking the ashirwaad of the zillions of faces waiting to get themselves clicked with the couple. The bride wants to pee so badly but doesn’t dare think of first, walking to the end of the corridor in her 30kgs lehenga, and THEN peeing. Nope! She’d rather sit there, for the next 4 hours and smile even more! So that’s what happens. The mahoorat ka time comes and goes. The guests eat and go. The in-laws keep the cash they like to call “shagun”. The bride and groom are too dead to do anything, and THEN, the pandit says, “dulhe dulhan ko bulaiye, pheron ka waqt ho gaya”

Now, at 4.22am and 47 seconds, the bride and groom are shifted to the mandap area, where the pandit ji’s two minutes of fame start. He rattles of mantras in shudh Sanskrit which no one except he himself understands. Whenever he says ‘swaha’ the couple throws whatever they have in their hands into the fire. And finally, at 6 O’ clock in the morning, the in-laws are woken up and told that the ceremony is over. The couple can now officially be called ‘Husband and Wife’.

Hmm, so the wedding that was scheduled for 14^th of March, actually takes place on the 15^th and the Bride and Groom reach home crying for sleep.

And now, even Red Bull won’t work! :P

The Great Indian Traffic Tamasha!

Okay, so you guessed it right! Here I am on a Friday morning, dreaming of a blissful work-free weekend ahead and then... comes the traffic.

So, it’s the usual rush hour jam faced by every Indian – but the only thing worth mentioning here is that the rush hour kind of goes on from 8.30am till midnight in this place called Gud-gawaan!

Hmm..I sit there, right in the middle of a sea of vehicles, at first waiting patiently, and then worried.

Yeah! As usual my fuel tank is about to hit the dreaded ‘E’ and lucky me! Today like most other days, all I have is a fifty rupee note on me! (Not THAT way, you pervert!) :P

Theek hai, back to the point, like in every bollywood movie, the story is pretty much the same, so is the traffic scene in India.
Jab bhi aap late ho rahe ho, garmi ho, basically, all the shaneez and mangals and grehs are against you…then a car RIGHT in front of you will break down. And Voila! That’s what happened! The only difference was that in movies its normally the beautiful heroine who’s car it is, but THIS car I’m talking about had an old, clueless-about-the-next-step uncle jee as its driver! Pity the car!

Anyway! An hour goes by looking at that FIRST car a kilometer ahead, hoping it’ll move just an inch! Yeah, that’s the height of ‘ray-of-hope’. When you’re stuck in a never-ending jam – to see that ONE car wayyyy ahead move just a wee bit!

Nope, it doesn’t! Hmph!

Then…Something hilariously strange happens. Or so I thought..

People in India anyway honk as if it were their birth right! I’ve always wondered – just because the damn thing is ‘muft-muft-muft’, doesn’t really mean that’s ALL we do! :/

I am STILL standing in the sea of vehicles, and then the honking starts! First one guy, then another, then another..and the ENTIRE vehicle population goes CRAZY! Everyone around me is honking like mad-hatters! And as I watch in disbelief the only explanation I can come up with, is that: probably, it’s another “Bhartiya-Bonding” strategy. Maybe these people feel ‘One’ when they honk like this!

Maybe it’s a mass-all-India-honk-day which I don’t know about! :S

So, it’s like a mass-wave thing we’d do in a cricket stadium! But only, there’s no cricket and there’s no stadium! Just a stupid loooong line of cars and more cars ahead of me!
And then again, MJ playing in my car is drowned by the chorus that erupts! Maybe they’re thinking this ‘mass’ honking thing might just wake up the traffic guys! Now I’m getting irritated! I wish this “It’s-my car-horn-I’ll-do-what-I-want-with-it” got us somewhere.

Ironically, what’s playing or rather TRYING to play in my car, under the outside chorus is ‘This is it!’

Really? I think! :/

It’s been an hour and a half now! And it’s the fourth, no I’m sorry – it’s the fifth honk-all-you-can marathon under way! Maybe Archies ran out of their random brother-in-law and father-in-law days, so came up with a honk-day? Hmm..I’m sure they still haven’t covered all 365 days of the year! I mean, come on! How can there be a day left in the year that’s NOT actually a day? :O You know what I mean? I think Honk day is perfect.

And now… :/ it’s Taylor Swift being drowned in the sea of stagnancy…!...hmm…